I started to blog last week but thought better of it because this is what I ended up with:
I've spent the past six days that I've been home feeling incredibly sorry for myself, sobbing uncontrollably and dreaming up worst-case-scenarios for my future that end with me being alone, morbidly obese, unloved, and making minimum wage. This leads to more boo-hooing and my sitting half-dressed in pajamas on my futon-bed with liquid eyeliner streaming down my face as I whisper to myself, "I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairytale." It's like a trailer-park version of a Taylor Swift song.
Charming, I know. Now that I've mostly recovered from my little pity party hangover, I feel better equipped to handle the mammoth task that is blogging.
The grades are slowly rolling in, and thank goodness for that! So far, so much better than last semester. It was one humbling learning experience for sure. Somewhere along the way to law school I lost my cut-throat competitive edge. It's amazing what some people do just to get ahead, though. I've had complete tools tell me they stopped briefing cases or doing outlines because it was overrated (I'm not an idiot, hurrrr). Then somebody tells you they overheard that very person psyching themselves in front of the bathroom mirror before moot court. Yeah man. No em-effin' worries here. Life is but a dream. I'm just happy to be improving and keeping my head above water right now. I most definitely needed to be humbled.
Apart from having to adjust to being long-distance for the summer, things are all good on the relationship front. And that's all you get.
On a related note, I think relationships have to be the scariest things in the world. It's wedding season, but I've stumbled across broken engagement after broken engagement after divorce (?!) on Facebook (the equal opportunity stalker) lately. It's probably good that Disney has made the shift from fairy-tale princess movies to movies about dogs and superheroes and such. Another valuable life lesson I've learned this year is what BS the notion of "happily ever after" truly is. I hate to beat a dead "White Horse," but I think Miss Swift might be right: You aren't a princess. This ain't a fairytale. Go to school and don't settle for an MRS degree. Learn how to do for yourself. Of course, it's okay to let him open doors and buy you dinner. Just don't fool yourself into thinking that when you know, you know, and that love conquers all. I tried that once. I think it takes more.
Tara is leaving me soon to go back to Buffalo. I thought she was here to stay, but she disappoints me once again. Never mind that I'll be in Knoxville only another two months; I'm the only one allowed to go off and have a life in a different city. Ironically though, I have friends who seem to actually have that mindset. Forget the fact that I'm consumed by school, that I buy my own groceries, do my own laundry, pay my own rent, and clean my own apartment! When I have free time I'm supposed to sit in my apartment and make phone calls that will go unanswered while they're out having lives. Nope, that's not balanced. Cue guilt trip. In the words of Jason Mraz (whom I mostly despise, by the way): the telephones, well, they're workin' 'em both ways.
Being home for the summer is not as bad as I thought it was last week. It's nice having a dog for a pet once more (Jim, please don't take offense to that. You're the best guinea pig a pet owner could ask for. Don't die while I'm gone.), and I've enjoyed going walking/running with my Mom. She's my captive audience and I can tell her anything. Literally. That is one perk of growing up I suppose. I do miss Memphis more than I anticipated. I guess I've established a life there, with my cute apartment and friends and boyfriend and routine. I think this coming fall should be a good one. I feel that good things are in store. In the meantime, I'm trying to stay busy making some money and finishing up the Twilight series. Reading alone could take the whole summer since I have the attention span of a third grader. Curse you, Bella Swan.
Time to get off my high horse and get back down to earth. Look for more BS revelations from Amy Pratt in the near future.
PS-Please pardon the weird thing my font is doing with the size and junk. I'm paragraph-setting illiterate.
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3 comments:
you're so sketch P-dizzle. I don't know if we can be friends anymore...
Somewhere around the time you broke out "em-effin," I was pretty much peeing myself. Amy Pratt, you have the most em-effin bad-a sense of humor in the whole world. Which is something they can't teach you in law school. Which is why I think you should just quit and become a best-selling memoirist. FOR REAL. Also, if there is one person in the world who won't guilt trip you for lack of phone calls, it is me. Because I am equally guilty. Just so you know. But don't think I'm just going to up and stop stalking you or anything. I am ALWAYS watching.... Dun, dun, dun.
every time I hear that song I wish I could sing and play guitar so I could write Taylor a song about how she IS a princess.
"Don't stop believing" kiddo- that's the point at which you stop being a person,
and become a lawyer...
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