It's taken me almost 23 years to realize that I hate advice. I try not to give my thoughts on a situation unless somebody asks me outright. One day, I won't give advice unless I bill you for it; that's how much I don't value your unsolicited opinion.
Sure, tell me what you thought about a movie, a book, Sarah Palin's lipstick--that's absolutely fine--just don't tell me how you think I should conduct my day-to-day affairs or how I should act in any sort of relationship...especially dating relationships.
I've recently entered into an official Facebook relationship with a fantastic guy. We're moving right along at a pace we're comfortable with, and that suits us just fine, yet I'm being told that being "official" a mere 3 weeks after the "talking" stage is just moving too fast; really, it's not this opinion that bothers me just so much, it's just that all the unsolicited advice I've been given has filled up a huge storage closet in my head and it's bursting at its hinges. Just in the past 3 years or so, I've been given a few key pieces of advice that really stand out in my mind.
- The Doctrine of When You Least Expect It: Apparently, good things don't come to those who wait; they come to those who do not anticipate. Almost any time I'd ever whined to a happily attached girlfriend about the lack of a man in my life, this phrase flowed like milk and honey out of the Promised Land. Amy, you'll find him...when you least expect it. The right one will come along...when you least expect it. Forget asking, seeking, and knocking; all you have to do is stop expecting things and--poof!--there it is. I think I'm gonna stop expecting my JD and see what happens.
- Play Hard-to-Get: Ok sure. Nobody likes a person who reeks of desperation, and I'll be the first to admit that in life in general, a little mystery keeps things interesting. I'm not saying that such a game doesn't work; act disinterested and expect a little extra attention. On a personal level, however, I prefer to be my assertive, aggressive self. I appreciate someone who will still stick around after I've blurted out that I think you're the hottest thing since Sun Chips or that one day I want a red station-wagon, 3.5 kids and a golden retriever. I just don't have time to waste (except in writing blogs, I'll give you that) and I prefer to be up front with what I think and feel, and I want someone to extend to me the same courtesy. Maybe I'm crazy.
- He's Gotta Be Just Like Mike: This principal governing all successful relationships is a close second to The Doctrine of When You Least Expect It. Anytime I've ever recounted my murky dating life to a blissfully bonded friend, she liked to tell me how what I was going through couldn't possibly have potential/hope/an ice cube's chance in hell because the events unfolding in my situation weren't analogous to what went down in her relationship. I met Mike on a Sunday and he called and asked me for dinner the following Monday. Mike never waited more than 2 days between those initial phone calls. Mike jumped off a bridge to prove his devotion for me. Granted, there are always telltale signs of a relationship on the up and up (he introduced you to his friends, took you out on a real date, didn't make you sneak in the back door to the basement after turning off your headlights in the cul-de-sac, etc.), but the beauty of planet earth is that we aren't all exactly the same. I'm just a firm believer that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.
...when you least expect it.
1 comment:
are you sure this blog was such a good idea?
Post a Comment