In Memoriam

It is with great sadness I must report to you, oh blog-o-sphere, that my sweet guinea pig Jim passed away sometime this weekend. The story of his death is below.

Guinea Pig, Jim, age unknown, was found early Sunday afternoon in his Cordova, TN residence by close friend Kelly Smithson. Rigor mortis had set in. Cause of death is unknown. Cage-mate and close friend James was unable to provide any details as to Jim's death, but was described by Smithson as "sad-looking" and "shaken." Adequate food and water were present at the scene, apparently untouched. There was no forced-entry and at this time foul-play is not suspected. Care-taker and confidant Amy Pratt, who was not present at Jim's death, was available for a phone interview from Knoxville later this afternoon. "The news came as such a shock to me. I'm absolutely heart-broken that I wasn't there when he passed. I've been away for work since May, and I'll never forgive myself for not spending these last two months with him." While she would neither confirm nor deny, Pratt was questioned about earlier statements she had made regarding Jim's being "ambiguously gay" and "closeted." While she does believe that the guinea pig was negatively impacted by the passing of Pop Icon Michael Jackson late last month, Pratt balked at the suggestion that Jim's death could have been a suicide. "It's ludicrous and I won't hear such absurd notions. This interview is over." Pratt erupted into sobs and promptly hung up the phone.

If you have any information regarding the death of Jim the Guinea Pig, please contact Shelby County authorities.