A Birthday Blog

It's my birthday. I seriously can't believe I am 24 whole years old right this very minute (ok, well, in like 10 hours and 40 more minutes, technically, but who's counting?). Sometimes I feel like I'm not old enough to even be buying my own groceries, and then I remember that when my mom turned 24, she'd been married a while and I was a year old. I mean, I guess this is the "mid-twenties," right? I'm supposed to be on my way to settling down, instead of feeling like I'm going through some kind of emotional/circumstantial puberty every day, right? MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING! TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK TICK...

I was pilfering through my nightstand and found a letter that I'd written to myself about six years ago. I was a junior in high school and my AP Spanish teacher had us write letters to ourselves in the future, with what our lives were like then, and where we hoped we would be in five years and then ten years, and she would keep them and mail them to us after five years. I had to do this once before, but this time, the teacher followed through (it could have something to do with the fact that Sra. Clark was one of the most badass teachers to ever walk the halls of Karns High School, right along with Mona Beverly and Marilyn McClain, so naturally she would be true to her word. Anyway...). Reading it was comical, to say the least. Note that some names have been changed/omitted to protect the completely oblivious, and pardon the mistakes in punctuation:

May 8, 2003
Dear Amy,
OK. Today I'm/You're sitting in Spanish, writing this letter to yourself. What are you going to accomplish in 5 years? In 10 years? Who do you hope to be? Where are you going to go? Good question. As of today, my 17 year old self lives in the world the size of a pencil eraser. I think about things like "was what I ate for breakfast healthy?" and "oh gosh, I need to lose weight" and "will I EVER have a boyfriend?" Lame, yes, I know. This year, my junior year, I am not so school crazy. I'm so burnt out on trying for all As that no one will care about in a couple of years. I really think I've lightened up. I actually have more fun now. I feel like I am getting some sort of a life. This is me now:

• Morgan Harris is my best friend
• My sister drives me nuts
• I like driving
• Church and the whole praise band thing is stressful
• I am always on a "diet" such a quirk
• I am always complaining about boys/lack there of, getting over ---- ------.
• Thinking ---- ----- is a total hoe.
  

Well, of course, there's more to me than that, but currently that's what's on my mind. In 5 years I hope to have accomplished:

• Go to college somewhere outside of TENN.
  
• Go back to England
• Study abroad in a Spanish-speaking country
• Visit Costa Rica or Puerto Rico
• Go back to New York
• Have a boyfriend--haha! That's not something to accomplish
• Decide what I'm going to do with my life
• Be awesome at Guitar
• Learn French and Italian

In 10 years I hope to have accomplished:

• Finish college/graduate school
• Be married/engaged or just, happily single!
  
• No kids yet
• Own a home
• Drive a new car
• Have a good job as either an interior designer or a writer or something Spanish-y
• Go to Italy
• Move somewhere exciting!
• Live in New York a year
• Go to the Bahamas or Hawaii
• Write a book

So, those are my goals! Not very many are actually "important," just traveling and stuff. So...Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! Live for today! Take your time! Have no regrets! Talk to you in 5 years. Don't disappoint me!

<3,
the 17-year old Amy

To reference Garth Brooks, sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. I may have thought I knew what I wanted at the time, but I can't imagine how my life might have turned out if everything had gone according to planned. When I first read this letter, I was still in law school (oh lord! not another law school reference!) and quite pleased with myself; but, a mere year later, my path has changed once again, but I am still quite pleased with myself. I realize that all this "things happen for a reason" crap that I keep preaching in post after post is probably getting old, but it's just amazing to me that after all the so-called disappointments and heartbreaks I've experienced through the years, I can still come out immensely blessed and on my feet. In retrospect, all these life letdowns have been easy and the tears have been sweet. I say all this to remind myself that though I'm not where I thought I wanted to be right now, the past 24 years have been perfect. I have so many people I love, so many great memories, and so much to look forward to.

Happy Birthday, Amy, and from here on out, PLEASE disappoint me.

Love,
The 24 year-old Amy